The feisty and reclusive author of “The Catcher in the Rye” died yesterday at the age of 91. He claimed that he continued writing for himself, which could mean he has been sitting on decades worth of unpublished works. I guess we will have to wait and see if this is true.
Is there anything funnier than a good fart joke? No. There isn’t. Welcome to Friday Fart Fun. Short vids of people farting. NSFMA (Not Safe For Mature Audiences)
Enjoy!
"This house is clean"
Actress and early AIDS activist, Zelda Rubinstein, died Wednesday at the age of 76. Zelda starred in one of my all-time favorite movies, Poltergeist, as the pint-sized psychic Tangina Barrons.
Rest In Peace Zelda!
It’s been a little over a year since Barrack Obama became our president so I figured on the day of his State of the Union address, we should call him in for an employee review. After all, he works for us doesn’t he?
So please hold my calls while I go over a few things with The President.
President Obama, thanks for coming in for this evaluation. When you accepted the position last year you were quick to try to bring expectations down from their campaign highs. You used your inaugural address to illustrate just how bleak the country’s situation was and asked for our help and patience in rebuilding the country and you looked great while doing it.
Today I’d like to talk to you about two of the biggest issues facing the country when we hired you last year and how you have dealt with those issues.
Number one is the economy. Like most people, I had to scratch my head at that whole bailout stimulus package thingy. However, I’ve never considered myself an economics enthusiasts and I believed you when you told us you had to do something to keep the country from completely falling apart. I think we all need to remember that George Bush upper-decked the country on his way out of the White House and you, President Obama have had to spend most of your time trying to clean up that mess. Speaking of which, did you ever find Bush’s duke? I think you deserve a great deal of credit for steering the country onto it’s current slow march to recovery. Stocks are up, consumer expectations are on the rise, the housing market appears to be stabilizing. We’re gonna need you to do something about the unemployment rate but overall, when it comes to the economy, I’m giving you a gold star.
Next, the war in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, I’m a bit disappointed with how you are handling this mess and there is a lot of room for improvement here. There is no such thing as success in Afghanistan. No matter what we think we may be accomplishing now, all we are doing is breeding the next generation of radicals with a buggery penchant for hating Americans. And I think they are justified in that hatred because they have had to watch their loved ones become collateral damage in a war that can not be won. If the people of Afghanistan are complacent enough to allow a political group like the Taliban to rule them, then what business do we have stepping in to change that. I hated the Bush regime and everything they did but I never wanted another country dropping it’s army on us to run those bastards out of town. So President Obama, when it comes to your handling of Afghanistan, I have to say there is a lot of room for improvement here and I’m giving you a frowny face.
Here is the good news, I understand that one year is barely enough time to unpack and get settled so I’ll continue to give you my support and patience. However, you are on thin ice and I’m going to need to see something tangible come out of your second year. How about doing something for all the gay Americans that voted for you or chasing those lobbyist out of the capital like you mentioned and what about all that talk about ending our foreign oil dependency?
Ok, that’s it for now. Get back to work!
Welcome to Dead Or Alive? Don’t take that question too literally. Think of this as my version of “where are they now”, except sometimes they might be six feet under and other times they are judging chili eating contests at State Fairs.
This week, Jay Leno and his late night show. I have never seen Jay Leno’s show (the one that just bombed or the one that he is moving back to) or Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show but I don’t live under a rock and have heard all about the late night wars between these two. From what I’ve heard, it sounds as if Leno may have gotten his way but looks like a real asshole who couldn’t cut it at 10pm and went crying to his boss for his old job back.
Do you think this is going to hurt him when he returns to his old time slot? Will anyone be watching? I know I won’t.
