Posted in June 2007 …

Jun 27 2007
5 Comments
Entertainment

Genteel Geoff Says

Modern life is fraught with social dilemmas and quandaries. Today we are faced with more vexing questions than simply when is it appropriate to wear white and what fork do I eat my salad with. To help you navigate politely through life’s perplexing problems, we have enlisted the help of mannerly polite-ician, Genteel Geoff, to answer your questions. If you have a question for Genteel Geoff, email him at GenteelGeoffSays@gmail.com

Dear Genteel Geoff,

Yesterday on my way home from work, I was going in the subway at the 42nd street Bryan Park stop. I stopped in the turnstile as I always do and propped my bag up on the shelf to my left to find my metrocard. Out of nowheres some person comes up and axes me to move my bag so they can get threw the turnstile on my left. It was a good thing for that mofo that it took me another 10 minutes to find my card cause I was gonna catch him and beat his ass.

 

Whats up with that?
Anita Sue-Simmons

Dear ASS,

Allow me to begin by saying that I am familiar with the Bryan”T” Park subway station. This particular station possesses such an abundance of underground space adjacent to the turnstiles, that you will find the MTA “ticket booth, a florist with a wonderful selection of cut flowers and small plants, and a full newsstand stocked with daily periodicals and monthly magazines. Might I suggest that in the future, today for example, you take advantage of the spaciousness of this station and stand clear of the turnstiles as you dig through your rudely over-sized bag in search of your Metrocard. You see, ASS, by standing in one turnstile and propping your bag on the card scanner of another, you are blocking two of the four turnstiles that are actually in working order.

This may come as a shock to you, but you are not the only person in New York City. I imagine you also choose to stand on the subway station steps to finish phone calls or cigarettes and probably stop at the immediate top of an escalator to gather your bearings. If you were to take your head out of your bag, ASS, you might notice the millions of other New Yorkers around you, who also just want to go home or do a little shopping. If everyone of those New Yorkers were as oblivious to each other as you, none of us would ever get anywhere.

So try being a little more aware of those around you and remember, ASS, that manners are the glue that hold society together.

Sincerely,
Genteel Geoff

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Jun 26 2007
9 Comments
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Genius At Work #6

Occasionally I have ideas that I think can make the world a better place to live in. Lacking the manufacturing capabilities to bring my ideas to fruition, they usually go to waste in my mind. So I’ve decided to post my ideas here in the hopes that some mega corporation will stumble across them and throw bucket loads of cash at me to turn these ideas into reality. Of course, the mega corporations will probably just steal my ideas and screw me but at least I’ll have the proof to back up my “hey that was my idea” rantings.

 

Personally, I find the whole concept of spending money on a device that simulates the experience of popping bubble wrap to be ridiculous and beyond unnecessary. However, I have to applaud the person that came up with the idea and actually convinced someone to invest and manufacturer the PuchiPuchi (pictured).

What makes the PuchiPuchi even more shocking, is that it is from the toy company, Bandai, makers of Power Rangers action figures and Tamagotchi pets. Perhaps PuchiPuchi signals a whole new direction for the toy company into the category of unnecessary crap. With that in mind, I’d like to pitch them my idea for the Stapleless Stapler Banger.

Is there anything more rewarding than stapling papers together with a forceful whack to your desk stapler? Of course there isn’t! But what to do when you have nothing to staple together? Enter the Stapleless Stapler Banger! This device looks just like a conventional stapler but doesn’t have any staples loaded, which allows you to bang away all day without wasting paper. Not only revolutionary, the Stapleless Stapler Banger is a great stress-reducing gizmo and will make the perfect gift for college grads who are stupid enough to take a job immediately following graduation.

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Jun 25 2007
18 Comments
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Let’s Get Stoop-id!


On Saturday, Seth & I took all the crap from our apartment that we were sick of looking at some lovely second hand items over to Kitty’s Park Slope stoop, where we joined Kitty and her husband for a super duper stoop sale. Not to toot my own horn but between out two households, we had the best stoop sale I have ever seen. Kitty and husband had rows of boxes filled with DVDs and CDs and Seth & I had a bunch of games, video games, toys and housewares, many of which had never been opened or used.

We had a rush of people arrive before we were even finished setting up or had made our first round of cocktails. We decided to start the day with homemade Lynchburg Lemonades, which were crisp, refreshing and just enough whiskey to deal with the wack jobs who turn out for stoop sales. And turn out they did! The crazy train rolled in with a lady that Kitty mistook for a man and called “sir”. She/he was joined by a rather odd couple who wanted to know why Kitty’s DVDs were priced so high at $4. Later in the day a large woman on a scooter pulled up to haggle and asked husband if he would give her a T-shirt for $1 since she was going to have to wash it 5 times just to get his smell out of it.

We even had some celebrity shoppers when the guy who made “Supersize Me” and his girlfriend (or wife maybe?) and author came by.

At some point in the day we switched to beer and were joined by friends Cyndi, Kelly, Adam, and Danella. The stoop sale turned into more of block party and seeing as how beautiful the weather was on Saturday we sat outside drinking until the sun set. At the end of the day Seth & I took in close to $200 and had a blast! The only thing more fun than drinking with friends outside on a gorgeous day is getting paid to do it.

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Jun 22 2007
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Welcome to the Blogo-sphere Double Header

Two new kids arrived on the blog block this week as Seth and Jdizzle both began publishing their own widely different blogs.

JDizzle’s blog, “Hometown Hangover”, follows the trials, tribulations, and to-dos of a home town gal, her husband and dog. Don’t expect many book reviews on this site as Jdizzle is quick to point out, she doesn’t like reading. Check it out at hometownhangover.blogspot.com.

And for something completely different, after months of being included in posts here on pop-o-matic, Seth has launched his own podcast – “Seth in Brooklyn”. This musical interpretation of pop culture is a collection of Seth’s own musical creations. Call them remixes, remasters, mashes or whatever you want, its off the wall and not safe for work. Have a listen for yourself at sethinbrooklyn.podcastpeople.com

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Jun 22 2007
2 Comments
Music

My Week In Review Part 1

After an exhausting week I finally have a chance to catch my breath, catch up on some sleep, and catch a good buzz. I can also recap some of the highlights of the past four days starting with Monday’s True Colors concert at Radio City.

The concert, which was sponsored by Logo and the HRC, was a real fagapalooza, which opened with a performance by Amanda Lepore. If you don’t know who that is, I’m afraid I just can’t come up with the words to describe her so why not visit her site. After Amanda, The Gossip took the stage and kicked ass, followed by The Dresden Dolls, who were incredibly talented but not exactly my cup of tea.

Finally, it was time for one of the acts I was there to see – Debbie Harry! Although Harry is currently promoting her new album, she still opened with an oldie – ‘French kissing in the USA’. Aside from ‘New York, New York’, French Kissing was the song I was most hoping she would do. Despite her age (she has to be in her 50s by now), Harry sounded incredible and the only way I can think of to describe her voice is that its like the soft half of Velcro, it feels good and grabs your ruff edges.

After Harry there was a short break followed by the evening’s only disappointment – Rossie O’Donnel doing her “act”. I tried to keep an open mind and forced myself to ignore the fact that she was wearing Crocs but after listening to her for five minutes, I had to retreat to the lobby for a drink.

Then the show really got exciting as Erasure took the stage. This is the band that I always wanted to see during High School but never did. It was worth the wait! They performed some of my favorite songs plus a few from their latest album.

The final performer was Cyndi Lauper, who came up with the idea for the tour. She opened with ‘Hole in my Heart’ and went on to sing most of her most popular hits including ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’, ‘When You Were Mine’, ‘Goonies’ (which I don’t think she has ever done live), and of course – ‘True Colors’. When Lauper finished her set, all of the evenings acts returned to the stage to sing ‘Take A Chance on Me’.

The show was hosted by Margaret Cho, who would come out during acts and entertain the crowd. At one point, she said she likes women who are so butch that they roll their own tampons.

My nostalgia tour rolls on next week when Seth & I will be seeing Morrissey at the Garden. I’ll be sure to tell you all about it.

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