popOmatic

It’s been a little over a year since Barrack Obama became our president so I figured on the day of his State of the Union address, we should call him in for an employee review. After all, he works for us doesn’t he?

So please hold my calls while I go over a few things with The President.

President Obama, thanks for coming in for this evaluation. When you  accepted the position last year you were quick to try to bring expectations down from their campaign highs. You used your inaugural address to illustrate just how bleak the country’s situation was and asked for our help and patience in rebuilding the country and you looked great while doing it.

Today I’d like to talk to you about two of the biggest issues facing the country when we hired you last year and how you have dealt with those issues.

Number one is the economy. Like most people, I had to scratch my head at that whole bailout stimulus package thingy. However, I’ve never considered myself an economics enthusiasts and I believed you when you told us you had to do something to keep the country from completely falling apart. I think we all need to remember that George Bush upper-decked the country on his way out of the White House and you, President Obama have had to spend most of your time trying to clean up that mess. Speaking of which, did you ever find Bush’s duke? I think you deserve a great deal of credit for steering the country onto it’s current slow march to recovery. Stocks are up, consumer expectations are on the rise, the housing market appears to be stabilizing. We’re gonna need you to do something about the unemployment rate but overall, when it comes to the economy, I’m giving you a gold star.

Next, the war in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, I’m a bit disappointed with how you are handling this mess and there is a lot of room for improvement here. There is no such thing as success in Afghanistan. No matter what we think we may be accomplishing now, all we are doing is breeding the next generation of radicals with a buggery penchant for hating Americans. And I think they are justified in that hatred because they have had to watch their loved ones become collateral damage in a war that can not be won. If the people of Afghanistan are complacent enough to allow a political group like the Taliban to rule them, then what business do we have stepping in to change that. I hated the Bush regime and everything they did but I never wanted another country dropping it’s army on us to run those bastards out of town. So President Obama, when it comes to your handling of Afghanistan, I have to say there is a lot of room for improvement here and I’m giving you a frowny face.

Here is the good news, I understand that one year is barely enough time to unpack and get settled so I’ll continue to give you my support and patience. However, you are on thin ice and I’m going to need to see something tangible come out of your second year. How about doing something for all the gay Americans that voted for you or chasing those lobbyist out of the capital like you mentioned and what about all that talk about ending our foreign oil dependency?

Ok, that’s it for now. Get back to work!